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This will probably be my last post on this situation.

Tl;dr at my sister's wedding and the time leading up to it, the brother of the groom (brother-in-law/BIL) was extemely homophobic to me (bride's non-binary sibling and bridesfriend) and the maid of honor (a butch lesbian) because we weren't acting like bridesmaids should. (The bride and groom were fully supportive of us).

After causing a scene at the wedding, my sister and her new husband went no-contact with BIL, at least temporarily. BIL continued to harass us for "embarassing him", and other family members started distancing themselves, which only made stuff worse. In the end, MOH and I decided to file a restraining order, which is where I left off last update.

The restraining order was denied. BIL got some… frankly questionable psych eval that his harassment was caused by his distress about queer rights, which opposed his religious beliefs. However, the judge believed it, and dismissed the RO if he agreed to therapy. BIL took the deal. We did try appealing the decision, but it was denied.

At this point, we've left a copy of the RO application with the local police station, so they're aware of the situation. We've called a couple times to report specific incidents (non-emergency line), and they've sent an officer out to him a couple times. This seems to have scared him enough to back off for now. We're still recording every incident (especially now with the police reports), and if we get enough evidence built back up, we might reapply. Otherwise, this story is probably done.

Thank you all who have been following!

I’m a wedding planner and I need to say something that is apparently controversial now: your wedding photos don’t look “off”…your face app does.

I keep living this “trend” where brides get their photos back and immediately spiral into: “this doesn’t even look like me” “I’m so upset, I hate them” “why do I look like this???”

And every single time I’m sitting there like… bestie. gently. tenderly. with love. That is exactly what you look like.

You’ve just been living in a FaceTune multiverse for the last five years where your jaw is carved by Michelangelo, your nose defies anatomy, your lips have six syringes of filler that never existed, and your skin texture has been fully deleted from the human experience.

Filters have completely ruined our perception of ourselves

What makes this extra brutal is that I get stuck in the middle. On one side: a bride in full post-wedding emotional crash mode, questioning her entire existence. On the other side: an insanely talented photographer who captured real, beautiful, honest moments exactly as they happened.

And I’m supposed to translate “I don’t like how I look” into “the photographer did something wrong”… when they absolutely did not.

So now I’m trying to keep the bride happy without gaslighting an artist whose literal job is documenting reality.

Also now brides are altering their wedding photos with face tune and ruining the photographers art.

There’s a lot to unpack here.

what is the appropriate response to future SIL who insists on wedding at remote park in another country and then announces no children allowed? the no children allowed policy applies to everyone even close family- which is insulting to family welcoming babies just before the wedding. SIL is the type to carry a selfie stick and demand photos in best light etc. evidently babies will “ruin the vibe” so all are expected to shell out at least 10 grand to attend the fantasy wedding but also expected to keep newborns at home or in the care of strangers at hotel. thoughts?

I’m a wedding and events musicians. I recently got a lead for a high paid gig, the clients seemed fine at first. Then they messaged me saying before paying deposit they have questions due to neurodivergence: the list was 70 QUESTIONS! Some of them were the same question phrased differently four times in a row. I spent 20 minutes typing out thoughtful responses to the questions and they did not even get back to me and possibly not even read it yet. AITA for being annoyed?

Looking for some advice, because this situation goes far beyond the boundaries of average human interactions, and I'm far less confident of the rules in this arena.

So, weddings. Always come with bonus drama, and I tried SO HARD to keep our wedding drama-free. For a multitude of reasons, we downgraded our plans from an in-country destination wedding on the water to a local, low budget ordeal in the mountains. My grandma lives in a fancy cabin up there, and had made noises about how happy she would be to have us get married in her woods, so it seemed a natural pivot.

Since we'd changed the location, it now meant that about 1/3rd of our guests would be traveling when they hadn't planned on it, so we were scrambling to help people find convenient crash space. (Our guest list had already dropped from like 60 to 30, so those 30 were very precious.) One of the first people we helped find crash space for was the mutual friend that had introduced us. They were bringing their two dogs, so we knew that added some difficulties to their travel plans, and we wanted to make everything as smooth as possible. My grandma's best friend also owns one of the other cabins in their neighborhood, has dogs and a guest house, so we asked if Dog Friend (DF) could stay at their place, and GBF was happy to say yes.

Fast forward like 6 months, wedding is a few weeks out. Everyone who is traveling in has crash space, most of them up the mountain somewhere. My MoH, her husband and toddler, and a separate Special Guest (SG) were the only ones other than us not staying on the mountain; they'd gotten hotel rooms in our town about 40 minutes away. Sudden house issues come up with GBF, and she won't be able to house DF anymore. BUT! She talked to ANOTHER one of their friends (Gracious Host – GH) in the neighborhood who also owns one of the SUPER nice cabins, and she and her daughter run it as an AirBnB. They'd had a last-minute cancelation, and offered it up as an alternative place for DF to stay. Great! When I was told about this change, I asked Grandma and GBF if it would be okay for my MoH and SG to also stay at the AirBnB (OMG plenty of bedrooms), so that everyone (but us) would be up in the mountains where the wedding was actually happening. They said they were sure that would be fine. Sweet! Problem solved! Moving forward!

The day DF arrives, we meet her at the AirBnB and the Host's Daughter (HD) is the one that gives us the tour. GORGEOUS house, beautiful view, I was SO HAPPY that people that were so important to me were going to have such a fantastic place to stay. But the vibes from HD were…not great. Some of it felt like City Mouse bestowing a great favor on Country Mouse (The income gap here is REAL), but I was also getting the feeling that she didn't know about the dogs? Like, she mentioned AT LEAST 3 times that they usually charge an extra cleaning fee for dogs, and her whole attitude was just…pursed? Like she'd bit a lemon. But other than that everything went fine, DF gets settled in, the other guests eventually arrive and settle in, and we move on with wedding stuff.

The original plan had been to hold the ceremony in Grandma's backyard (literally just an arch for decor), and then the reception at the local gathering hall thing. We'd asked DF to help set up the arch the morning of the wedding, and they were all over it. As we're doing morning-of getting ready stuff, DF is communicating options for the location of the arch, and then DF and my Mom decide that the actual best location is the backyard of the AirBnB: It has more space, a better view, just all around best location for the wedding. Mom and DF tried to ask GH if it would be okay to hold just the ceremony there, but couldn't get ahold of her. So they made the executive decision to do it anyway, and told me not to worry about it. Yes Mom. Focusing on getting married.

Ceremony was beautiful, the pictures are gorgeous, it was more perfect that I ever pictured it being. Wasn't overly long, then we headed to the reception while someone remained behind to break down the arch. Small guest list, short ceremony, attempted to have minimal impact on GH. Next morning people are rolling out, DF stops by on their way out of town to say goodbye. They let us know that they had planned on doing a thorough clean of the AirBnB to get up dog hair and such, but had misunderstood the checkout time and lost an hour of cleaning time. Noted.

This is where things actually start to go sideways. HD is apparently LIVID at the state the cabin was left in. Like, ranting to GBF livid. It's apparently so bad that the next day, GBF's husband goes over with his checkbook and asks how much it would take to never hear about this again. Shitty, but over and done with, right? Nope. HD gets ahold of MY MOTHER and asks to meet with her. At this point, it's been 3 weeks since the wedding.

And she's got beef:

• They were only expecting 1 guest, not 5
• They were not expecting the dogs
• They expressly have a "No Events" policy for their AirBnB, so having the ceremony there was NOT OKAY
• Their plumbing was not up to the amount of guests that ended up staying there
• My brother and his gf had ended up crashing in one of the empty bedrooms and moved some furniture without moving it back, so GH and HD had to do it (neither one young – moving furniture is a young persons duty)
• The AirBnB was left so filthy that it took her cleaning lady 2 DAYS to clean

There might have been a couple other things, but those were the biggest issues. So she's pissed, saying that no one treats her mother that way, that I'm entitled and I owe her mother an apology. MY mother does the smile-and-nod thing, apologizes and says she will let me know to apologize to GH. Once this is conveyed to me, I ask for a family meeting with Mom, Grandma and Grandpa, and GBF and her husband. Communication breakdown seemed like the cause of a lot of these issues, and I wanted to make sure everyone involved was on the same page and had the same information because I had 2 major questions:

• What exactly did I do wrong in this situation that requires me to apologize?
• If I DIDN'T do anything wrong, and I'm just doing a performative apology to keep the peace, what exactly should I say?

The only people I could get to talk to me about it were Mom and Grandma, who were having side conversations with GBF. Everyone else wanted nothing to do with it. Apparently HD is notorious for being a little crazy, and not letting shit go. So all the women involved just want me to apologize so they can move on. To which I keep referring to the above questions: I don't mind apologizing to keep the peace, especially since we owe everyone so much for making the wedding happen, but it felt like I was getting thrown under the bus with no help when I had done NOTHING WRONG, which really hurt, especially since it was beginning to taint my memories of my wedding.

But wait, there's more! While this is all simmering, I'm on the phone with my MoH and I vent my spleen about the situation. So then SHE drops that bomb that it was the absolute worst AirBnB she's ever stayed at. In addition to some generic complaints like linens and pillows, EVERY SINGLE DISH she tried to use, including silverware, was dirty (one coffee mug was completely coated in hair), and the kitchen was filthy, like the countertops were covered in dust. She hadn't wanted to say anything because 1) don't stress the bride and 2) it was free, but once given permission, she unloaded. And she confirmed what I had thought, that NONE of the special guests staying in that cabin would have left it such a mess that it required 2 DAYS to clean.

So, here we stand. From my perspective, while they have at least one legit grievence (the ceremony), HD is essentially being a bully, and blowing the situation out of proportion to the point where she is extorting money from people. Mom has come around to my way of thinking, but she tends to cave easily under pressure and agree with whoever is talking the loudest. (I love my Mom, she amazing, she just didn't get the Mama Bear trait, which would be really nice right now) Everyone else is just kind of willing to ignore it, but at the same time acknowledges that HD WILL NOT let this die. Which means eventually I'm still going to have to deal with it. In the meantime, I'm no longer comfortable going up to the cabin to visit, so she successfully drove an emotional wedge between me and my family, AND my memories of my wedding have this dark cloud hanging over them. So I feel like I've already lost. All that's left is the concession speech.

Not a super social media person, so no guarantees I will respond to comments, but I would desperately love to hear some outside opinions on the situation. Including some shields and swords for whenever she eventually does get in my face…

AITA for being upset that my friend (my MOH) didn’t invite my husband to her Vegas wedding? I’m just really confused and honestly hurt. My friend, who was literally my maid of honor at my wedding, is having her wedding in Vegas. I got the invite and it was just to me. No husband, no +1, nothing.

For context, my husband knows her and her fiancé well. It’s never been “just me and her.” So I don’t understand why he’s suddenly not included.

When I asked her about it, she basically said they’re being “selective” with spouses in general. But it still feels really personal. Like… this is my husband, not a random date. I told her it hurt my feelings and her response was kind of dismissive. Just “I didn’t think this would bother you” and she mentioned I’ve gone on trips without my husband before?? Which isn’t the same at all.

I don’t know. I just feel weird about going by myself to Vegas for someone who apparently doesn’t want my husband there. But now I’m worried I’m overreacting.

AITA for being upset and not really wanting to go

Update: She said it feels disrespectful that I support her doing what she wants for her wedding, but then have an issue when it affects me. She explained it's an intimate wedding, mostly family and a few close friends, and emphasized that no one is getting a plus-one-not even the groom's mom-and she won't make exceptions. She ended by saying she's sorry I feel it's something deeper than it truly is.

Another update: I told her that it felt like she asked for my thoughts in prior weeks about her wedding and then used them against me. I said it would've been better to openly discuss guest plans before sending the save-the-date. My husband genuinely thought he was invited and was looking forward to the event and the trip. I said it was really hurtful to assume I'd be okay with him being excluded. I also called out that comparing my husband to her finances mom's husband (who isn't invited for negative personal reasons) wasn't a fair or comparable situation. I've been honest about how this made me feel, I told her I'm done debating it, and now I'm seriously questioning whether I'll attend at all.

Last update: It's ok your reaction to this has spoken in volumes so will just have my family there that day.

I didnt have an account so i borrowed this one. Sorry its kinda long. Am I the ahole for wanting a dry reception? For context people in my family can be jerks sober. Add a bit of booze and they are just plain cruel. Fiancé's family doesn't really have any issues with drinking. The only thing is at least half wont come if theres no booze. His family treats me like a human and make me feel like I belong in this world. I love them to pieces. Fiancé an I have gone multiple rounds on yes vs no on this subject. He's not a drinker and im a recovering alcoholic. Ive been sober almost a decade now. The bestie an I dont agree as to what it means for me as shes never been down that road. I see her point, but I dont think she sees mine. Other then this an a couple other head but topics shes a ride or die bestie. An im planing on making her my maid of honor. She didn't have much to say on the drinking other then if we dont drink we shouldn't have it and we can save some money. On the other hand she said its a risk of people doing what they want and it could be bad. The Fiancé is somewhat of a people pleaser and will let people walk all over him at times. I can't stand it. When we first got together this issue was super bad, but I made the extra effort to help him see that he's better then that. I encourage him to take time for himself, family an friends especially since we are both very family oriented. My family sucks while his are amazing. It took almost a yr of battling as coworkers thought it was a joke and that he didnt need it. They were wrong as everyone needs time for themselves and to be an individual. He's since gotten better at standing up for himself an taking these moments to do whatever. I only ask that he let me know so I dont make plans as I dont want him to have to cancel on anyone. He's a stand up guy and treats me like a queen. He never puts me in situations he thinks will harm me in any way. This includes my mental health. He found me at my worst and helped me heal. Even if theres one or two red flags there not serious enough to cut ties. He's respectful, decently responsible, can clean a home, care for pets, and…….well……tries to cook. Some meals are fabulous while others need a little work, but I eat them with a smile an tell him its yummy. He worked hard an I dont want to sound mean on accident. He's also a mechanic and can diagnose any issue 9/10 perfectly over the phone and makes sure all my needs are met. I have some medical issues that make simple tasks hard especially during cold season. Plus i cant work medically. So not a big income an i get upset about this a lot. Hes constantly telling me it's ok an that he's got me. An everyday i get called beautiful. On occasions i get emoji flowers/selfies. Its the thought not the money behind it. He's the true essence of what love is supposed to be. He proposed on Christmas. A holiday that, for me, is extremely painful. Since the proposal, by the way i said yes, ive tried to find moments to be happy on Christmas. With it being so hard for me he goes out of his way to make sure im ok and that if I become to upset he'll take me to a room that's quiet an holds me while I cry. Context on this: I lost my father, kids an a few close relatives around this time of year. Not the same year just the same time frame of the year. Then tried to make myself dissappear because the pain was just to much. This was when he came into my life. The year i lost my kids. He was patient an kind and wanted his love to be enough. It was and still is. My pops was one of the few that truly cared for me the way healthy family's are supposed to. So that's kinda the back story of it in a sense. Im not good at keeping straight thoughts and for that im sorry. Ive watched a ton of Charlotte Dobre's content on weddings, bridezilla's an AIAO. It's helped me a lot. My mum an i love her content. I recently was invited to a wedding an it helped me to ask key questions so I wouldn't be showing up inappropriately as well as how to have my own best wedding without being a bridezilla myself. I can understand that the wedding is for us and the reception is for the guests. However, I know how myself an my family is and I just dont think booze is a smart choice. Plus we're not looking at an adults only situation as lots of people will be traveling from different states and im not expecting anyone to leave they kids behind like that. I did raise the possibility that if parents dont watch there kids/drinks closely enough a risk of underage drinking may happen. I told Fiancé that i didnt want to be responsible for that. He said that would be on that parent, but he fails to understand the venue may have a clause on it and we would be responsible as we rented the venue. In a normal situation yes I can see the parent fully responsible. Im also a DD since I can still drive decently an i also look at the fact of can they get home safely after drinking. I dont want anyone pulled over or wrecking cuz they had to much to drink. I just have to many reservations about booze at a reception when he doesn't drink an im almost a decade sober. He only wants the booze so people will show up not to enjoy it himself. Id understand more if he wanted to enjoy it. I told him they should show up for us not what were offering to give them. I am making little ty gifts as well. We also battle over venue options, pot luck vs catering. He said if they bring that and are expected to bring a gift its not fair to them. I agreed, but told him the best gift they can bring is just showing up. Im not materialistic. We also are not very hopeful that anyone from my side will even want to show up. All the good ones that cared about me have passed away over the years. Will take any tips or opinions you may have as well. Will give updates as they happen. We're drawing out the timeline as we're paying for it all. I want to go cheaper if possible an he wants extravagant an make a big show. I dont think its nessissarry to spend money we dont have. Reasonable and smart is what im trying to keep him doing with money. We've also started with 100 people on each side of the family not fully hopeful half will even show up. Essentially 200 if they all show. He wants it closed off to outsiders while im ok if theres a rouge wedding crasher. As long as they respectful let them join. Again sorry for the lengthy discombobulated story. So am I the ahole for wanting a dry wedding?

Hi guys, I'm relatively new to Reddit, so I hope this is appropriate. My fiancé and I (35M and 30F) will celebrate our wedding in Denmark in July 2026. We have already sent out save-the-date cards, but not the actual invitations.

We invited a friend (female) in her late thirties, as well as her ex-boyfriend. We were close with him, grew close to her, and stayed close with her after the separation (which was rather gruesome on his part, but that's between them).

I am currently fighting with her concerning the wedding. To recap, a year ago, she started talking about what she would wear to impress her ex. Mind you, she is in a new relationship, and by the time of the wedding, the separation will have been four years. I didn't react much and only half-jokingly said something like, "You're not supposed to look better than me." But that didn't sit right with me tbh. The dress talk continued every time I saw her. We don't live in the same town, so we don't see each other often. She also talked about how she has to reconcile with his other ex (28F; he cheated on the friend in her late 30s with this one; YES, we have a weird friend circle) before the wedding and is scared about how her new boyfriend will react when he's in the same room as her ex. Mind you: We only sent her the save-the-date card, and we never talked about who we would invite (not her partner, not the other ex)

The whole thing blew up when she sent me a link to the dress. It's rather sexy and revealing, and not fitting for a summer wedding.

I feel like she doesn't care about our wedding but is making it about herself (which she ofc denies).

What do you think? AIO? (I kind of want to uninvite her now lol)

I am finding it hard to navigate some recently felt tensions with my best friend (and my possible MOH).

My best friend got engaged about a year ago, and has not made any moves to plan engagement party, wedding, etc as she is saving up for a car, house, and looking to have a child.

I have just recently gotten engaged with my partner of 10 years about a month ago. We are very excited and have planned our engagement party and looking to plan our wedding very soon. Our engagement party is in March.

As soon as my best friend heard of our engagement party her first words are “but we haven’t planned ours yet”, and now, she is acting disinterested and very clearly jealous any time we bring it up. Noting, they got engaged a year ago and hadn’t made any plans for an engagement party. She told me she doesn’t want to do what I am doing and have a long engagement, so they’ve purposely put off their engagement party for a few years time.. She’s now put a post on social media saying that she’s beginning wedding planning when previously this was to be a few years away. She doesn’t want to talk about our party, she didn’t even look at our invitation that we gave to her.

I’ve tried to engage with her by trying to get excited about being fiancés together, suggesting some cool things we can do whilst we are both in this time of life. She hasn’t even opened my messages about this in the last few days, even though she’s clearly online.

It’s early days but I don’t like where this is heading. We have been close for about 15 years.

What on earth do I do, and how do I approach this? Am I being overly sensitive? I am just really upset by the thought that she’s going to gloss over my entire experience just because it’s also her time, at the same time. I also really really don’t want this to become competitive. I don’t want any negativity around this experience. I also just want to check my own thinking… because I’d hate to be the person who jumps the gun.

It saddens me that I am one of those people with a dilemma like this.

Help?

original post can be found here

https://www.reddit.com/r/bridezillas/s/LqNbpkddMw

So over a year ago now, I made a post that got some attention, and then completely forgot about it. There was a popular demand for an update/resolution, so if anyone remembers this saga, here it is !

If you didn’t read the previous post or don’t want to, my bf’s sister expected me to dye my hair black and wear specific colors (burnt orange or green) to her wedding. She also attempted to exclude me by saying that she could not provide me a seat or food, after giving me an invitation and saying that she would love to have me.

I attended the wedding, against what everyone advised, and I am SO glad that I was there to witness the absolute mess that it was.

To properly start this off, I first need to talk about the rehearsal, which was also a mess. Everyone was disjointed and disorganized, the planner was yelling at people, someone stepped on a snake, and everyone kept forgetting what was rehearsed. It was a very hot day, and the rehearsal was outdoors, so everyone was sweaty and fed up.

After the rehearsal, there was a dinner, where I apparently “embarrassed” everyone by pulling out a bottle of advil to give to my boyfriend because he had a migraine, and walked with him to the bathroom when he felt sick. Additionally, on the morning of the wedding, his parents sent a message (on his sister’s behalf) saying that my piercings weren’t going to be allowed either, which led to my boyfriend calling and confronting them.

Despite all of this, I had now seen how bad the rehearsal was, so I had to be there for this wedding. I of course did not remove my piercings or dye my hair, I went as me, in a tight emerald green dress.

When I arrived, I noticed multiple people with piercings and tattoos, as well as dyed hair. I immediately noticed that no one was wearing green or burnt orange, and the main wedding colors were beige and pink. As many people speculated, her improvised “rules” were definitely targeted toward me, possibly to try and make me look bad or embarrass me.

Now onto the wedding.

The speakers they used to play music sounded like they were waterlogged, and whoever was playing the music somehow paused it twice. Rather than having a flower girl, the groom had his grown male friend tossing flowers, and a guest nearly walked out because he threw flowers directly in his face. The groom walked out to X Gon’ Give it To Ya (very classy) while all of his buddies yelled and whistled.

The bride’s grandma decided she didn’t want to walk out as rehearsed, and loudly argued with the event coordinator who was trying to lead her back over to where she was supposed to walk. Everyone was looking at each other, cracking jokes and whispering, and it might’ve been one of the least serious weddings I’ve ever attended.

When it was time for photos, she asked me to get in the photo, only to purposely place me in the back. My boyfriend noticed this, and picked me up bridal style so I’d be in full view in every photo.

They ended up giving everyone a plate to go up and get some food, and everyone was allowed one plate per person. I ended up waiting until the person serving the food switched out, and got two plates of food. The bride vanished for hours to take pictures, and everyone was left bored and waiting for cake.

I had a great time partying with my boyfriend at the reception, and it turns out the bride was having fun partying too. We were watching back footage of the reception on the wedding photographer’s facebook page to try and find us dancing, and saw her in the background dancing on another guy. When I say on, I mean on, because her body was fully pressed against this random man.

I went, I saw, I looked good, and I got to laugh at a failure of a wedding. That wraps up the saga !